The emotional low of introverts
I've learned that no matter how much I convince myself that I love my work, I still need to take time off.
As a solopreneur, an introverted entrepreneur and self-made business owner, it can be nearly impossible to have an entire day off to unplug from the busyness of business.
But I had a genuine dark night of the soul recently. And it's because I forgot.
- I forgot that I need time to discharge the energy I spend working in and on my business.
- I forgot that I'm introverted and don't always reach out when I probably should because I need to feel connected and valued as a person.
- I forgot that my energy drains, even when I use all the tools that I know and expertly use.
But now I remember.
- I remember that I deserve a day off, just like everyone else.
- I remember that I'm more than my business. I'm a person who has dreams and an imagination that needs to be fed.
- I remember that it takes more than acknowledging my stress. I need to act lovingly toward myself and nurture my needs.
It's so easy to play the I forgot, I remember game.
There is always a cycle of inner and outer reflection. There are signs that hint at impending burnout. And if we ignore them we can be sure to see spectacular failure.
But the best thing about knowing all of this is to trust that it IS a cycle.
And like any cycle, it will continue to roll. Up, down, all around.
The other day I had a bit of a breakdown. It involved freaking out about doing all of the creative work without getting any reward. It showed up as unsubscribes to my email list. Had way too many distractions that easily shoved me off my path.
It dawned on me that I was on a downward slide. It was like watching a disaster happening in slow motion. Except, I could do something about it.
Yet, as an introvert, I internalize and try to do things on my own.
That's when I found myself in deep despair and I couldn't get out of it.
I knew I had the tools... tapping, meditation, breathwork, energy healing, mindset.
BUT I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT!!!
My inner dialogue went something like this...
It's too deep and tapping won't work. I can't be bothered dredging up all that crap. There's just way too much!
What's the point. How can I help others if I can't even help myself?!
I got myself into this emotional mess, I gotta get myself out of it.
Have you ever thought those things?
The best part about all of this is that I finally realized that I have another tool: connection.
I have the best collaboration team! My business besties. We are here to support each other. We share insight, advice and lift each other up when we need it.
So I reached out to one of my biz besties and she allowed me to vent. Then we gently worked through some of my techniques to release all of the pent-up emotions and mental fragments.
It was such a big relief!
Getting all of the negativity off my chest. Releasing the anger and resentment based on my own perceptions and judgement. Allowing her to guide me using my own method of tapping. Wow did I need that!
So I learned two things.
Thing 1: I'm human and just because I have great tools to combat stress and overwhelm, I still get stuck there.
Thing 2: I'm not alone and it takes reaching out to get support in being acknowledged and supported to move past the overwhelm and get back into flow.
I am so profoundly grateful for the amazing people I get to call my friends and colleagues. It feels good to be part of a supportive community.
Do you have a community or at least one person to lean on when you need it? If not, I can help.
Here's to feeling uplifted!
Peace,
Lorraine
